


In the Eyes

by wolfiefics



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Pre-Slash, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:28:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24364315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfiefics/pseuds/wolfiefics
Summary: Severus shows Remus that secrets are revealed in the eyes.
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Severus Snape
Comments: 4
Kudos: 77





	In the Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Written in March 2006, if my timestamp of an old file is correct. Written under the name Bagoas Alexandros originally.

The firelight flickered in one last spurt of light before being reduced to a glowing bed of coals. The room fell deeper into shadow, as did its occupants. One sat by the window, cloaked in the darkness of night, lack of light and his own clothing. He blended into the curtain, a perfect concealment that needed no charm or enchantment. The other had been sitting on a threadbare rag rug by the fire. He was supposed to have been dozing, awaiting his turn at the window vigil, but in truth he'd spent most of his time deep in thought. 

Neither had spoken since they entered the room four hours earlier. Now, though, one was inclined to speak.

"Usually, you're an abyssmal partner on nights like these," the figure by the window muttered quielty. "What's the matter? Your chatter lose your box?"

The lean man on the rug only shrugged, reaching to grab a poker to stoke the coals back into a small flame, made smokeless by magic. 

"Don't. They'll be here soon. We can't risk the light." The hand moved away from the tarnished brass poker. The was a long pause and the speaker sighed in irritation. "What's eating you, Lupin? Besides fleas."

"A question."

The man by the window frowned when it became obvious there would be no elaboration. "A question about what? You never struck me as the type to keep your questions to yourself. A regular Socrates, you are."

"Do you really believe I was in on luring you to the Shrieking Shack?" The question was blunt and swift in it's delivery, catching the other off-guard.

Severus Snape gathered himself and then snorted derisively. "That's the question that's kept you occupied for four straight hours?"

"Well," conceded Remus Lupin almost sheepishly, "not just that one, no, but it was the start of a chain of questions and thoughts on my mind at the moment."

Severus snorted again. "You're barking. I knew that monthly potion would addle what's left of your brains one day."

"But are you going to answer _my_ question?" pressed Remus.

"No," came the answer.

"No, you aren't going to answer the question, or no, you didn't think I was in on Sirius' so-called prank?" Remus could feel the heat of Severus' scornful look even through the cold darkness.

"No." Remus would have sighed if it had done him any good. That Severus Snape had a gift for words, it couldn't be denied, he just used them at the strangest times. 

"If I'm barking for my question, then your answer makes you a downright nutter!" Remus paused and then added meaningfully, "Snivellus."

Severus' form at the window stiffened significantly at the old insulting nickname. Remus regretted using it for a moment and the reasoned that he never used it before, so perhaps Severus would realize that Remus was trying to impart something.

Or not.

"You utter bastard," hissed Severus into night air. Remus was alarmed to hear a note of pain in that silky voice. "I always thought you better than that. How disappointing."

Remus winced. "Severus, I -"

"Go back to your twisted thoughts and leave me the hell alone," Severus snapped peevishly, making Remus feel worse.

"Answer me first," Remus insisted.

"I did, you moronic half-breed," Severus ground out.

Remus froze. "So the no was for both questions. Oh. Well." He cleared his throat awkwardly. "I'm sorry, Severus."

Severus gave a disbelieving snort and the two lapsed into silence once more, less companionable this time. As it stretched between them, Remus felt guiltier and guiltier. It took sometime of trying to work up the nerve to restart a conversation. Just as Remus opened his mouth to speak, Snape beat him to it.

"Of all the secrets I thought you had back then, I can honestly admit you being a werewolf was one that I had never once contemplated."

Remus gave a start. "What made you think I had secrets to begin with?"

Severus gave a low laugh. "Besides the adage that everyone has secrets?" He paused meaningfully and then continued. "Do you know what was in James Potter's eyes?"

Remus frowned into the darkness, the coals now glowing orange under a blackened skin, emitting little light and heat. "No."

"Fear."

"Fear?"

"Yes," Severus replied. "I never could figure out why until it occurred to me as I was hanging upside down that day down by the lake after our O.W.L.S."

"Fear?"

"Are you a parrot?" Severus snapped irritably. "Yes, he was afraid that everyone would know he doubted himself. He always swaggered, boasted and bragged to hide his fear that he wasn't up to scratch, that he was inferior somehow."

Remus chuckled. "Ridiculous. You're the one who's barking, Severus."

"No?" purred Snape silkily. "And Black..." He gave a true laugh of pleasure. "He was hiding desire."

"Desire for who?" Remus wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"You."

To say Remus was startled would have been putting it mildly. "WHAT?"

"And what's more, he was ashamed of it. It was amusing really, in some ways. In others, it was just pathetic." Severus gave an amused chuckle. "You were so oblivious."

"Um." Remus had no response to that. "And Peter?"

"Hate and resentment."

"Hindsight that one," sighed Remus regretfully.

Snape continued as if Remus hadn't spoken. "I could not decipher the look in your eyes though, not completely. There was pain and sometimes shame, occasionally fear or worry but they were a layer hiding something else much deeper. Whatever it was that you were hiding was obviously something more significant than the petty emotions of your friends."

"I see."

"Do you? How droll." There was a pause as Severus surveyed the street before he continued. "The more I studied the four of you, the more I came to understand that whatever **you** were hiding was the dynamic in your friendship. The glue, if you will."

"They were my friends before they knew," Remus stated tightly, stunned by Snape's perception.

"Yes, but the bond strengthened after they discovered your secret, didn't it?" Severus voice was soft, inquiring, but not aggressive or sarcastic.

Remus conceded the point with a grudging, "Yes."

"I thought so," Severus purred almost to himself. "It happened our second year, didn't it?"

Remus was startled. "Why, yes!"

"And they became animagi around our fifth year." This time it wasn't a question but Remus was compelled to confirm it.

"Yes, but how did you - "

"It was all in the eyes, Lupin. The eyes never lie. _Never_. The secrets began to accumulate more than ever then. Layer upon layer of secrets from you and from each other began to show in their eyes, but never yours. Your eyes never changed, they still had the same hidden depths that made complete sense that night I walked blithely into the tunnel under the Whomping Willow." Snape stopped talking a moment, stiffening in his seat as he continued to gaze out the window. After a moment, he relaxed.

"Not them?" Remus inquired.

"No."

Remus almost felt violated by Severus' observations. "You didn't exactly go into the Willow with the best of intentions yourself, Snape."

"No," mused Severus thoughtfully. "I was jealous, I'll admit. They were so easy to read, all of them, your friends, but not you. You, there was something different about you. You became a little obsession of mine. I had to know what made you tick. When Black noticed my perhaps not so covert staring at you one day, he challenged me on it. Then he let slip your excursion." Even in the dark, Remus could see the wry curve of Severus' mouth. "We know what happened after that."

Remus went back to the point that got his attention the most. "Jealous. You were jealous of me? Why?"

"Not of _you_ , but your friends who knew your secrets. I'm a man, was a boy, who collected secrets, Lupin. They are useful, secrets."

"Blackmail," interrupted Remus, scowling.

"Not at all," Severus said smoothly. "I've never used a secret against anyone that wasn't for good intentions, believe it or not. I'm actually the one that got Lily Evans to look at James Potter in a different light. Told her he acted like an ass because he was trying to impress her. Told her it was a boy thing. Got her to thinking." Severus gave a self-deprecating laugh. "My mother taught me all about reading women. Too bad it's of no use to me."

"No girlfriend, Snape?" 

"No interest in one either. Wrong gender." The tone was casual, but Remus caught something in the depths of the inflection.

"Really."

"Yes. Really."

"Another reason to obsess over me as a schoolboy?" Remus felt a thrill at the thought for some reason.

There was a long pause and Remus looked up to see Severus staring straight at him. The inky blackness around them could not hide the banked fire burning in Snape's black tunnel eyes. "Not just a schoolboy, Lupin. But you are beyond my reach, I think."

"Really."

"Yes, really."

Remus stood up and carefully skirted the room, staying out of vision for anyone spying on their own spying nest. He crouched down next to Snape's chair and leaned forward until they were nose-to-nose. "Care to test that theory?"

Just before Severus' lips met his, Remus heard him murmur, "I've always been attracted to danger."

"Me too."


End file.
